Sunday, April 11, 2010

how to disappear completely; HERE I AM

I changed my mind about these assignment. I don't want you to post them unless you feel you must. This blog is too small. Just make them for yourselves. That's what it's about anyway.

Anyway, I just watched 16 Blocks (it's a Bruce Willis movie with Mos Def; not great but it's whatever). A lot of flat characters die in said movie. This has never really bothered me until I thought about another post someone made a while ago about how we have a selfish view of humanity, how we see ourselves as the focus of the universe and other people are just passing through. Never the other way around. Well, thinking about that made me really freaking sad when these people have become part of the main character's narrative and therefore MY narrative for like 3 seconds and then they unceremoniously die. They get shot in the head or thrown from a building or their neck gets snapped *CRACK. A guy dies in the very beginning, gets shot in the back of the head and his head goes through the back door window of a cop car and just lies there. I thought about him in high school, just doing what everybody else is doing, maybe wanting to be a teacher or go into law enforcement. Maybe he dropped out to help his family with bills. I was thinking that I've probably seen someone just like him while working at the pool going down the slide with his parents. I might have even known him in high school. And he got shot in the brain. He didn't know he was about to die. It's just like when I went to see Toy Story when it came out and the reel just melted except instead of going home and planning to see it some other day, you loose consciousness with the projector. Damn, that was a stupid similie. Anyway, yeah, I just started thinking about that kind of thing and so the new assignment is ...
make plans for your body after you die. it's kinda morbid, I know but at the same time, I don't think it should be because it's pretty much inevitable. I don't think undeniable truths should be looked at like that; it's such a waste of potentially positive energy. Like I said, no need to post yours but I will post mine (my last project was a little too personal I didn't want to post it). happy trails.

ps. about the picture at the top, is it messed up that I see that as really romantic?

Monday, April 5, 2010


I try to live life like a movie; I think I'm cheating myself out of a lot of reality because of it.

I hate myself because I wish "To Be Alone With You" was about a girl and not God. Wholly.

"Well, the way I see it, if you're here for 4 more years or 4 more weeks, you're here right now... When you're somewhere, you outta be there. And when you go, is that place any better than it was when you got there?" - Northern Exposure

A friend and I have been considering going into some sort of ascetic lifestyle to figure out what's important in life. I don't think I can give up my music stuff. Even my shitty Casio. I've already named all my instruments; Gretchen, Icarus, Thurgood, the General, Mr. Saxophone, Sam(antha). My bike, would also be a shame to replace. If any of you have tried anything like this, let me know how it went.

this is my friend zany rockin' the turntables, a feat I had not seen in person before that night.

I got a little *buzzed (corrected from "drunk") for the first time ever this weekend (after almost 8 years of attending parties wherein I've been chided on a relentless basis to drink). It was ok. It was purely experimental. "The revolutionary is only as good as his analysis" as they say I suppose was my thinking. I had a whole bottle of Boone's Farm, 3 shots of Capt'n and half a glass of whiskey. A girl who I don't know spent the whole night fawning over me. It was kinda cool; that has never happened before.

I left the party, watched cowboy bebop while lying on my parent's couch (my bed during school breaks) and thrust my head back and forth while giggling silently because it felt funny. I don't think I was very drunk because I could walk relatively easily.

I made this for a record label I started with some friends that will never go anywhere: